Posts Tagged ‘soulmate’

The irony doesn’t escape me. I finally get outta my comfort zone and boldly hookup with a guy I met online at Fetlife…we fuck….the actual fucking is OK but certainly not great. He’s young and does the rapid fire style young guys THINK women want but it wasn’t bad just not experienced…BUT…then we went down on me and I can’t BELIEVE how hard I came…i squirted several times in his mouth and i was blown away by the pleasure he brought me. I was grateful and slap happy.  This is a pic of Jake, my P.Y.T who is 22 and i am 41…so this was a first for me and it was naughty and delightful!!!!!!!!! Jake was so cute driving us around from my apt to dinner nearby and then back to my apt to fuck like animals. He’s so cute in his car. He was so adorable and adoring, a nice combination for sure. What a delightful plaything.

I say IRONY ABOUNDS because here i go FINALLY getting sex from someone else because i’m sick of Richard fucking any underaged bitch he wants when he’s not with me and i stay faithful to him….FUCK THAT…literally and figuratively….so i finally find a nice boy to fuck on the side and he’s nice, we’ve text messaged a lot since our fuck in July and we talk on the phone, etc…then he tells me today that he, Jake, has met a girl who wants to be monogamous and he’s going to do it.  he’s sweet saying we can still “play” but we can’t actually fuck….apparently Jake’s little new girlfriend is a psycho jealous girl telling him she won’t share him. fine by me. whatever….so i won’t get to fuck Jake for awhile.  i’ll live.  so back to Richard, he’s always gotten cheap fucks on the side WHILE EARNESTLY TELLING ME I AM HIS SPECIAL GIRL….i am a world apart from them. it’s just sex, but i LOVE you, lisa….yeah yeah….i wanna vomit!  so since Richard can get his cock happy with every fucking nasty whore in town (yes, i’m bitter) then i can have my tawdry fun too. by golly i will….but i admit i wanna see and fuck and makeout and hangout with Jake….i miss the little guy….what can i say….sigh….stupid Richard doesn’t know how INCREDIBLE i am…

I MUST SAY THAT MY YOUNG LOVER JAKE DID BRING ME A WONDERFUL GIFT, I MEAN BESIDES THE INCREDIBLE ORAL SEX THAT MADE MY PUSSY PURR.   JAKE REMINDED ME HOW MUCH I DESERVE TO CLIMAX, CUM, AND BE PLEASURED AND ADORED.  I have MISSED huge orgasms. With Richard I forgot how an orgasm feels. Why?  He is selfish and only cares about HIS pleasure. Richard THINKS he is all that, God’s gift to women in the sex department but honestly, I can’t remember the last time I had ANYTHING CLOSE to an orgasm with Richard. Why? It’s ALL ABOUT HIM and he doesn’t give a shit. Once he said within a pretty casual conversation we had within the last month or so, that he wants me to be happy.  I NEARLY SCREAMED OUT IN REBUTTAL  AND SHOCK…….i said YEAH RIGHT. then he acts sooooo suprised like he’s flabbergasted that I would say that he was lying when he said he wants me to be happy. OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, baby…why wouldn’t i?  oh please. many times i doubt he wants me to be happy.  How does my happiness factor in when he is hellbent on HIS cock getting off and forgets I have needs too.  I mean sure he’s bigger cockwise and cocky-attitude-wise than most men but that doesn’t exclude him from making sure I feel that i matter. Richard can be a steamroller, blazing over my feelings.  Sure he has nice moments when he’s holding my hand and being sweet in ways but when it’s all said and done, WHY CAN’T I GET OFF AS MUCH AS HE DOES?  Why is it all about Richard’s orgasm with him seemingly forgetting that i wanna cum too! I want to get fucked AND I wanna cum and squirt with amazing orgasms. Why does he not know that?  But I digress….darn, this posting was supposed to be ALL about JAKE and how I’m bummed and a bit surprised that he’s latched onto some possessive girl who is taking him off the market. He’s 22 and I gather she’s his age or thereabouts. so who knows what ‘kids’ do these days. All I know is that I will miss that amazing mouth of his. He has impressive skills at making my pussy purr. Here is a pic of it….yeah, he was that good I gotta post a pic…

He was my first venture into naughty online fuck buddies. I met Jake on Fetlife and boy was he charming. He’s cute. He’s got a baby face. He also was good at knowing that he wasn’t going to sleepover. After fucking several hours (with condoms! i was safe.) around 1am he finally got ready and left. It was all so nice and easy. I felt at ease with him. During the night, after we got back to my place from dinner down the street, we had fun watching videos on YouTube. I had a nice time. He was cute. Such a baby face, young skin. Oh my, I thought looking at him closeup, that yeah, he IS that young….then it just made me horny as hell.  I will miss Jake licking my pussy. I didn’t like how he fucked me while dripping all over me with his body i refer to as the GREAT AMERICAN SWEATING FUCK MACHINE.  Although I had the AC blasting and it was cool as ice in my room, Jake told me that yes, he sweats a lot, and is that a problem? Um, dude, I mentioned it so YEAH it’s a freaking problem are you KIDDING ME? it’s gross. i mean i love normal sweaty sex raunch, you know when the gettin’s good, but this was like a sweat waterfall.  it was a huge turnoff for me that as he’s fucking me (him on top) with my legs on his shoulders,  and yes he’s dripping sweat in buckets. Ewww.  However, I do wanna keep in touch and he wants to also, so that’s good. For being so young, Jake was very mature and cool about things. He begged me to make HIM my boytoy #1 and said I should promote him and therefore demote Richard to #2. OH IF ONLY I COULD…..BUT I CAN’T BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH RICHARD….AND  ALWAYS WILL BE….

ALTHOUGH REASON AND SENSE SAYS I SHOULD LET “RICHARD THE SELFISH MANCHILD GO RUIN SOME OTHER WOMAN’S LIFE INSTEAD….but alas, i recently accepted that I should fuck around on Richard since he LIVES to fuck around on me, and hurt me and disrespect me.  WHY DO I TOLERATE IT? i need to SERIOUSLY ask myself that question. I know the good outweighs the bad, so I hangon to him, to the ‘us’ we are when things are at the best…but he’s so HATEFUL and DEEPLY BELITTLES WOMEN at the core and that’s bothering me more than ever. the things he says and the venom he says it with sometimes makes me acutely unsettled. sure i joke about how men can be pigs, etc….but the WAY he says stuff is disturbingly so clearly doesn’t care about my feelings or honoring what we have built for 5 years. (Yes, I’m bitter and angry and fuming about it…then, now, still…)