Opening Up…in many ways

Posted: August 11, 2011 in manhattan, relationship, sexuality
Tags: , , ,

THIS BOOK SHOULD BE REQUIRED READING FOR ANYONE IN A RELATIONSHIP…TRISTAN TAORMINO IS INSIGHTFUL and SMART:  http://openingup.net/

I’ve been tackling this whole “my man wants to be open” thing and well, I’ve decided that I’m fine with the OPEN RELATIONSHIP thing for two reasons…

  1. if he can play, so can i…and i have!
  2. i like my freedom as much as he does so when we ARE together, it’s special, and on purpose

I say this because of my new little “toy” I found named Jake. We met via Fetlife (http://fetlife.com) which I totally LOVE and recommend for anyone with a kinky mind and curious nature. Jake’s thoughtful, funny, driven, focused, hard-working, and so complimentary. He’s 22 and i’m 41. I can’t stand the “cougar” label so let me just nip that in the bud right now. i am NOT his cougar. that is NOT my bag, nor his. he doesn’t like older women just for that specific desire or intent. when we talk the age difference isn’t a factor. he has such baby soft skin though! however, because he’s REALLY good at eating my pussy, i think i’ll keep him around.

However, I get jealous at Richard fucking some gazillion other women but I guess I can’t since I’m getting sex elsewhere, too. I do have major issues about jealousy. It’s one thing for him to fuck some skank but when he disrespects me like he did on Memorial Day, it’s unacceptable. HE CALLS OUR RELATIONSHIP “OPEN” BUT I THINK IT’S MORE “ALL ABOUT RICHARD” and so much so that I’m starting to resent being steamrolled as if my feelings don’t matter one iota.  Even open relationships should be positive, mutually supportive/respectful, and give & take. I’m just not sure he is capable of that. He cares too much about HIMSELF and anyone else will come second.

However, I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel for him. When I’m with him, my heart is so happy. So much shit about life, politics, other stressors just fade away. I have such moments of true laughter and joy with him. Sometimes my heart melts when he does small sweet gestures like holding my hand and we walk around.

Relationships are such incredible human dramas. I think I’ve learned more from my talks and adventures with Richard than I have with anyone in a LONG time.  I can only hope he feels the same.

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Comments
  1. alphasiren says:

    Dude~ just nominated you for the Versatile Bloggers Award! Keep writing~ You rock!
    Mucho Love~
    xoxoxoxox
    A/s

  2. AthenaVox says:

    Sounds to me like you really would prefer a monogamous relationship with Richard but are convincing yourself otherwise. You are fooling around with a younger man because you feel you have control is that relationship whereas your heart has no control with Richard. I completely understand.

    I was/am so in love with a man who did me wrong. And if he came back today I would have to think about taking him back. Somehow love makes us do the dumbest things. Good luck!

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